Table of Contents || Previous:
Children Love Routines || Next:
Video Games and Your Child's Brain
Can
One Person Increase Motivation in Another Person?
Page 2
—by Jean Fisher
Assign Responsibility
There are some very important rules to follow when delegating
responsibility in a way that fosters intrinsic motivation
rather than relying on extrinsic rewards or punishments.
- Allow for choice
- Allow for individual styles
- Allow for a learning curve
In our goal of spending less time in the evening in front
of the television and more time reducing stress and pursuing
creative endeavors, we can apply these allowances. Obviously,
each person would be responsible for picking out tomorrow's
clothes, but other duties can be handed around. Make a list
of other jobs that could be shared by everyone and then work
out a fair plan of accomplishment. Remember the secret
of presenting" yes" or "yes" options.
"Danny, do you want your day to clean the bathroom
to be Wednesday or Friday?" "Would you rather make
sandwiches or fold the laundry?"
Once a job is delegated it now belongs to the responsible
person. No breathing down necks, or coaching from the sidelines.
Make sure the proper tools are available, instructions are
clearly given and then walk away. If the bathroom mirror is
cleaned with a mop the first time, oh well. The intrinsic
goals of the individual will allow the necessary skills to
develop naturally. You contribute to the learning curve by
affectively applying the next step.
Recognize Progress
Many people enjoy using charts and graphs to track progress.
They can be very effective. I urge you not to rely too heavily
on them, however because they tend to make us think of extrinsic
rewards. "What do I get when I have a star in every square?"
What works best is a thank you with a statement of worth
about the action. "Thanks for picking up the living
room. It puts me in such a good mood to live in a neat home."
(Remember the two intrinsic motivators, pride and importance
of action?) Or, a verbal pat on the back. "Now that your
homework is done and your head is the size of a watermelon,
what fun thing are you going to enjoy?"
Remember to be sporadic with your compliments and praise.
A compliment delivered with every action sounds insincere.
Never forget the reinforcing power of a smile or a hug.
Develop Empathy
Empathy is the ability to feel what another person is feeling
and is the foundation of intrinsic motivator number two: an
understanding of the importance in applying the desired behavior.
Years of teaching elementary students gave me a clear understanding
of the need to teach children empathy. From the charismatic
manipulator, to the bully, to the social outcast, not being
able to identify with other people's feelings can lead to
problems.
Talk about your feelings with each other often. Always
remember, however never to assign blame to another person
when expressing an emotion. Instead of saying, "You
made me so mad when I was late for work because you overslept!"
a better way to build empathy would be to say, "Once
the clock gets past 8:20 I start getting nervous about being
late for work. My stomach gets acidy and I can almost hear
my boss yelling at me again. I sure would appreciate it if
you would be downstairs by 8:15." You have given your
reasons on many different levels of comprehension: the visual
image of the clock, the physical sensation in your stomach,
the sound of an angry boss.
Create A Conducive Environment
Above all else, model motivated behavior. That one
thing in itself will motivate others beyond anything else
you do.
Designate your home as a caring community. "Everyone
who lives here supports each other." Don't tolerate teasing
or other forms of meanness in your home.
Another important factor in keeping the atmosphere of your
home uplifting is to limit complaining. Many of us
are in the habit of coming home and letting off steam about
the idiots we must face each day. That old homily, "Leave
your troubles on the doorstep" should not be forgotten.
Consider the effect on a child's motivation to grow up and
enter the work world when he or she continuously hears the
adults complaining about their jobs.
Contribute To Positive Health Habits
Eat right, drink lots of water and get plenty of exercise. When you feel good physically, it is so much easier to
be enthusiastic and cheerful!
Use one of your self-improvement evenings each week to take
a walk outside. Wear your intelligent caps while you are on
your walk and talk with each other about the things you encounter.
I'll bet you can teach each other a lot.
Have an energy snack available when you are working or creating
at home. Slice fruit and cheese and serve with a fortified,
whole grain cracker. You are supplying vitamins, calcium and
fiber. One of best fibers for the digestive system is the
pectin found in apples. Float apple slices in ice water with
a spritz of lemon juice and they won't turn brown.
Conclusion
The final word is consistency. If you are determined
to reach your goals, follow through. So, good luck! Apply these concepts and you will have a happier, healthier
family!
 del.icio.us
 reddit
 yahoo
Do you enjoy What's For Dinner? Share it with Social Bookmarks.
Bio Our editor, Jean Fisher, is a former elementary teacher.
She offers "What's For Dinner?"
as a free service for busy families. One delicious meal
is suggested for each day of the week, plus an organized
grocery shopping list that can be customized to include all
your shopping needs. You will also find two stimulating table topics and
one educational after-dinner activity for each day. As one happy
visitor commented, "It's everything you need all in one
place!"
|
Win a Mystery Picture T-Shirt
|
