The answer is yes, of course, right? People motivate other people. After all, what about coaches and inspirational speakers? They are paid to motivate other people to do great things.

But ask the parent who would like to see a better report card, the boss who is sure to catch several employees off task at any given time, or the spouse who hates picking up someone else's dirty laundry from the bathroom floor and you will hear that motivating others is IMPOSSIBLE!

Consider the two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic:

Intrinsic motivation originates from within the individual. It is a very powerful source of motivation. Intrinsic motivation is behind all of our attempts to learn and master new skills from our very birth. An infant will reach out and grasp a finger. Next comes walking, talking, riding a bike, all the things children are anxious to accomplish.

Extrinsic motivators are the rewards and punishments that come from the outside world. Play video games instead of doing homework, suffer embarrassment in class the next day. Earn a trophy for first place in a competition for high performance, win the admiration of others. There is one important fact about extrinsic motivators however, they are short-term fixes only. The desired behavior will probably disappear when the threat is gone (or forgotten) or the promise has either been delivered or denied.

Instead of relying on extrinsic motivators when attempting to get people to behave in ways that you think are reasonable, foster the factors that nurture those powerful intrinsic motivators. What are the intrinsic motivators?

• Success and pride of accomplishment
  
• An understanding of the importance in applying the desired behavior

That's a pretty short and easy list. So how do you go about adding sunshine, water and nutrients to these natural seeds of personal growth? Here is the method:

• Set goals
  
• Assign responsibility
  
• Recognize progress
  
• Develop empathy
  
• Create a conducive environment
  
• Contribute to positive health habits

Set Goals

1) Decide. 2) Create an affirmative statement. 3) Write it down. 4) Be clear about your reasons for wanting it. 5) Set a date for accomplishing the goal.

Read any motivational book and, when the subject of goal setting comes up, you will always see this formula. The obvious reason? It is effective! Have a family meeting and present some ideas on making progress in areas of importance. Now create a statement that expresses the desired goal in an affirmative manner. (To state a goal in the affirmative, you say it as if it is already accomplished.) If you want to spend less time watching television and more time on responsibilities, projects and hobbies, you can say, "Our family devotes one hour each evening for taking care of responsibilities and spending creative time on hobbies and projects". Now commit the goal to paper.

Why do you have to write it down? The writing process involves more motor skills and imprints the idea more clearly on the brain. Next step is to assign relevancy to the goal. "Better use of our time will reduce stress for the entire family. We can use the extra time to take care of some chores that usually end up getting rushed, such as picking out clothes to wear the next day, or fixing lunches." Then pin a date on the accomplishment, "We will start on Monday and meet again Saturday to talk about the different ways we used our extra time".